Don’t do nuthin

I’ve been struggling with writer’s block for the last week. In an attempt to get my juice moving, (see how I avoided the cliche,) I took a walk.

I walked to the kindergarten, which is about a mile from my house. The rectangle surrounding the campus translates to a half-mile. I jogged the half mile, then walked home. All together, about two and a half miles traveled.

On the way, I was clogged. I couldn’t think, I was worrying. I hoped the walk would move my thinking to a more productive mode.

It did. After the jog, my mind was on breathing and nothing else. I didn’t have the wind I needed to feel sorry for myself. Then, when I caught up with my lungs, the juice in my head was diluted and sloshing. Jogging had melted my thinking, and now it was messy milk up there. I could make a metaphor about how settled milk produces all sorts of useful stuff, but I refuse. I leave it to you.

The thought that stuck was on how to break out of a rut. To put it as simply as anyone could ever put anything, it’s hard to do stuff. It’s hard to take a positive action, compared to not taking an action.

Entropy is powerful stuff, especially as you age. The ruts in your brain get deeper, and the slope in the gray matter gets tougher to climb.

But I’ve found one silly way to bust out. Inspired by Scott Adams’ fantastic writing on hot wiring oneself, which can be enjoyed in “How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big,” a key among many to jump starting oneself is this: don’t do nuthin.

What does that mean? Here are some examples of how you can not do nuthin.

Instead of losing weight, don’t eat cake. Instead of exercising, don’t sit on the couch unless you walked a mile. Instead of watching YouTube, don’t watch YouTube. Instead of not reading, refuse to avoid your reading.

Yes, it’s dumb. Yes, two negatives equal a positive. But it works! The power of negativity can be harnessed, if you’re enough of a Negative Nancy to avoid not trying.

Soon, I will tell you how I quit smoking by not smoking. One of my most satisfying triumphs in negativity.

Time Out – Hello, fellow traveler

Hello, fellow traveler.  This is the Sandman, Brandt Randels speaking.  I’m a barrel-chested podcast whisperer on the Sands of Time Podcast with ole’ Silly Caveman here.

I’ll be typing my brain-mind excretions on here from time to time under my exclusive “Time Out” section.

Keep your eyes and ears peeled back for some excellent podcasts, coming soon to The Sands of Time Podcast and, God willing, on iTunes.

So let us now rejoice in this great news.  Gather up thy cockles and rejoice.

The math of ‘Lady Ghostbusters’

While the original “Ghostbusters” was a fine film, full of funny jokes, scary spooks and good cheer, all the Ghostbusters were men. Not only is this problematic, it’s math problematic.

As we see, men and unfairness share an identity relationship most of the time:

3 white male Ghostbusters (wmGs) (x) 1 movie = 1 unfairness

2 wmGs (x) 1 movie = 1 unfairness

However:

4 male Ghostbusters (x) 1 movie = 3/4 unfairness, where one of the male Ghostbusters is black.

The identity property of addition also applies most of the time. Observe:

3 wmGs + 1 lady secretary = 1 unfairness

4 wmGs + 1 lady secretary = 1 unfairness, where the fourth male Ghostbuster is a white nerd, as in “Ghostbusters 2.”

Additionally, we note that:

4 wmGs + 1 black male Ghostbuster (bmG) + 1 lady secretary = 4/5 unfairness

A corollary:

3 wmGs + 1 bmG + 1 lady secretary = 2/3 unfairness

Paul Feig, director of the remake “Lady Ghostbusters,” has made progress. Unfairnesses must be zeroed out prima facie. Feig reasons:

3 white lady Ghostbusters (wlGs) (x) 1 movie = 1/4 unfairness

Further:

[3 wlGs + 1 black lady Ghostbuster (blG)] (x) 1 movie = 1/5 unfairness

As we see, Feig’s calculations bend the movie curve closer to zero. It’s important work, and can serve as a foundation for future theorists.

Sources:

  • Running Bear, Skye. Calculus for Pussies. New York: Better Math Press, 2004.
  • Jensen, Randy. 2+2=Gaza: New Theories in Elementary Addition. San Francisco: DumDum Books, 1992.
  • Farthwirth, Jenna. Think Again: You Heard Me! Portland: Grrl, 2007.

Hi!

Hi, everybody! My name is Silly Caveman. This is my first blog post. I think it’s gonna be a good one.

This blog will cover all the topics no one else has the balls to address. You know, stuff like movies, music, and politics.

To begin, I’m gonna do some experimental stuff, so bear with me. Your indulgence, please. Soon, this blog will truly live up to its billing as “the last necessary blog.”

Here’s something fantastic, so that I can learn how to post videos. Be of good cheer! I’m here!

Awesome